The Business of Misery
by Voltalia the Majestic One
Summary: It all started when Ray went on holiday and was replaced. The replacement had something to hide, but the others had no idea that they were in for a wild ride.
1. Genesis

The Business of Misery

by voltaliathemajesticone

**Author's Note: I haven't written anything on this account in a while, so please forgive me. Basically, this story is a revamp of agentmatt's "Sneaky Agent", but it's written in my way and I did my best to make sure it didn't rape canon. I apologize if I missed a few spots. I'll probably fix those later. Please enjoy anyway. By the way, I'm on hiatus from "How You Remind Me".**

Chapter 1: Genesis

_"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes,"_

_-William Shakespeare, Macbeth_

It was 6:05 am on a beautiful December 13th morning. Anita had already gotten up and was breastfeeding five-months-old Emerson and Vinita at the kitchen table, while her husband of seven months, Victor, was just now starting to wake up and get ready for the day's work. After they had breakfast, Victor and Anita dropped their twin children off at Victor's mom Mildred's house. Anita looked over to Victor while they were at the doorsteps.

"I can't believe that we have the most gorgeous children," she said.

"Neither can I," Victor replied, looking very proud of himself.

After giving their children kisses on the cheek, off to work they went.

Victor and Anita sat down at their usual seats and waited for the Chief's name of the day. Gardevoir stood beside her Trainer like she usually did, and Ninetales sat modestly on the floor like she always had to do.

"How is everyone today?" Changed Daily asked.

"We're good." Victor and Anita said together.

"I'm fine." Gardevoir replied.

"Ditto." Professor Professor also replied.

"Meh, I'm okay," Ninetales answered in a dull matter.

"Alright." Changed Daily began. "Let's get started, but before we do…."

However, he was interrupted by a girl wearing a violet newsboy cap, with flaxen hair, hazel eyes, a purple T-shirt, and bell-bottom jeans. She had skin that was halfway between pale and tan. She was holding a piece of paper with writing in her hand.

"Mail time!" she began to sing. "Here's the mail that never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes, I wanna wail 'MAIL TIME!'"

"Thank you, Alexis." Changed Daily said uncomfortably, as he grabbed the paper out of the girl's hand.

"Mail's here!" Ninetales gleefully shouted. "What's it say? What's it say? What's it say?"

"Heel, Ninetales." Gardevoir commanded. Ninetales did just that.

Changed Daily started to read. The contents of the paper were:

"Dear U.Z.Z,

I just went on holiday recently and already I'm not sure whether I'll come back or not, or when I'll leave. The reason for this is I love the spot I picked to go for holiday. Until I make my decision, I'm not leaving and I've hired a replacement, who will not only ensure that the world is safe, but will also wear my sunglasses, etc. But should I decide to stay at my current location permanently, I'll miss all of you greatly. Right now, I wish you good luck on your missions. Godspeed.

Sincerely,

Special Agent Ray"

"I wonder who the replacement will be." Ninetales pondered.

"I have a few feelings for the replacement." Gardevoir concurred.

"That reminds me. The person taking Special Agent Ray's place is just waiting outside to meet you. Let me get him." Professor Professor realized. He jumped out of his seat and left for a moment. When he came back, following him was a person that everyone immediately recognized as a familiar face.

"Oh my dear God!" Gardevoir exclaimed in shock.

"May I present to you, Special Agent Alphonse."

Gardevoir, Ninetales, and Anita just looked at him in shock. The only one who was pissed at the replacement was Victor.

"Hello, Victor," Alphonse started with a subtle evil grin. "Hello, Anita, Professor Professor, Gardevoir, Ninetales."

"Um, hello." Gardevoir greeted nervously. Ninetales just had a puzzled look on her face.

"Alphonse? I didn't expect to see you again." Anita said.

"Hello, uh….." Alphonse resumed, ignoring Anita's reaction, but stopped suddenly.

"Oh, right." Changed Daily caught on. "As you know, for reasons of security, my name is Changed Daily. Today, you may call me…."

His communicator beeped.

"Augh! Fart Bucks."

Everyone laughed for a few moments, and then the laughter died down.

"Hello, Fart Bucks." Alphonse restarted, still giggling a little.

"Now let's get down to business." Fart Bucks started to speak. "As you all know, Arachne has been causing mischief for quite some time now. Now we feel that it's gone on long enough. Victor, Anita, the two of you need to go to the K.U.L.T casino, capture her, and bring her back here so we can have her killed as soon as possible."

"Oh, God, don't!" Alphonse yelled out. Everyone else gave him a look on their faces as if to ask him, "Why not?" "Because...there might be an ambush."

"Good thinking." Professor Professor jumped in. "Either I'll invent something to detect ambushes or Gardevoir can come with them and detect the ambushes herself."

"Wait. I have a better idea. Why don't you let me catch Arachne?" Alphonse suggested. "I do need practice after all."

"Very well." Fart Bucks said. "You've got your first assignment."

"You can't be serious." Gardevoir interjected.

"I am, Gardevoir. Protesting about assignments won't get you anywhere, either." her Trainer warned.

Alphonse got on his skybike and left for the K.U.L.T casino. As soon as he saw it, he landed near the entrance, went inside, climbed up the stairs leading to a door that had a sign reading, "For Millenia and Friends only….", entered the room, and confronted Millenia the Gardevoir/Mismagius hybrid.

"What have you come here for, boy?" Millenia demanded in a cruel tone. She was holding a joint in one hand and tapping her 3 fingers on the desk with the other.

"I've come here to demand that you give me Arachne. Victor and Anita would've done the same thing, except I persuaded U.Z.Z to send me here." Alphonse replied.

"How did you persuade U.Z.Z exactly?" Millenia wanted to know.

"It was easy. All I did was lie that I needed practice."

"Well done, Special Minion Alphonse. Oh, Hannibal, Sunako, Lucas, would you please bring in Arachne?"

A regular-colored male Zoroark, a woman with black hair, silver goggles, and a black and white jumpsuit, and a teenage boy with brown hair emerged from the shadows and brought with them a human/spider hybrid with skin so white, she looked like she was made of delicate porcelain, short black hair with a baby-blue headband, and a Black Widow lower half. She looked somber and collected for someone who committed heinous crimes, was rude and violent, and killed discreetly.

"Hold on a minute," Alphonse shouted out all of a sudden. "You're not getting off that easily."

"Why don't you come fight me then?" Millenia taunted.

Alphonse sucker-punched Millenia right in the face between her eyes. As soon as she hit the floor and lost consciousness, her entourage did not try to fight him, but instead surrendered quickly.

"Alright! Take Arachne! Just please don't hurt us!" Hannibal pleaded.

Alphonse spared the 3/4th of the posse and dragged Arachne, who strangely did not try to fight back, with him all the way to his skybike to take to the main pod.

After Arachne followed her captor to the briefing room, she finally prompted herself down in the middle of the floor, still not attempting to fight back.

"I've captured Arachne, Fart Bucks." Alphonse announced proudly.

"Good job, Special Agent Alphonse," Fart Bucks congratulated. "Who would've thought you'd be the one to finally bring her down?"

"Thank you," Alphonse responded.

"Why don't you have any scratches on you? Surely, she must've at least _attempted_ to let go."

"I gave her some drugs to keep her from kicking and screaming."

"Makes sense to me!" Professor Professor butted in.

"Show-off," Victor coughed.

"What?" Alphonse asked.

"Nothing, nothing," Victor replied, in a snippy tone.

Professor Professor then led Arachne back to his lab, where she would be executed once and for all.

It was 8:37 p.m. at Victor and Anita's home. They had invited Gardevoir and Ninetales to join them in their conversation about how the day they had at work was monotonous and about Alphonse being Ray's replacement.

"I don't get it. Of all the people to be his replacement, why in the world would he pick Alphonse?" Victor asked. "Did he really think he deserved to fight villains besides The Chef? I can't even get along with that God forsaken sculptor, or artist, or whatever he's supposed to be."

"Look, Victor, we're not too thrilled about this, either." Gardevoir said, referring to herself, Ninetales, and Anita. "But we just have to deal with him for the time being until Ray comes back."

"You mean, _if _he comes back?" Ninetales added.

"Right. We don't know if this is going to be permanent or temporary." Gardevoir lamented.

"So we're stuck with Alphonse for God knows how long…" Victor sighed.

"Exactly." Anita replied.

"Oh boy. This is going to be painful." Victor moaned.

Suddenly, Gardevoir had a light bulb go off over her head.

"Hold on one minute. I think there's something wrong with this picture," Gardevoir stated.

"What are you talking about?" Victor wanted to know.

"First of all, do you remember Ray going on holiday without telling anyone?"

"No. Actually, I don't. When he went on holiday, boy, would he go on and on about how great his vacation spot was and how many days it would be until he left."

"That's it!" Ninetales remembered. "I can recall the few times he's done that. But this time, it didn't happen, although there could be several reasons for this."

"I suppose you're right." Gardevoir agreed. "But that still doesn't explain Alphonse's sketchy behavior. When Victor and Anita were supposed to capture Arachne, he yelped out 'No', took a moment, and then said there might be an ambush. If there really was one, how the hell was he so sure he wouldn't get ambushed himself?"

"He also said he needed practice. If that's so, then why was he sure no one would surprise attack him, because in reality, having little to no practice, he'd be prone to ambushes?"

"On top of all that, what was with Millenia's clique surrendering Arachne quickly after Alphonse punched their leader in the face just once? You'd think once Millenia suffered a blow like that, her friends would try to stand up for her, right?"

"Yes. Also, why was it when Arachne _was_ captured, she didn't do a damn thing about it? He wouldn't even let us or any of the other backup agents help him with the capture."

"Gardevoir, I just thought of something." Victor interrupted.

"What is it, Victor?" Gardevoir asked curiously.

"What if K.U.L.T created an Arachne clone and gave that clone to Alphonse to bring back to the main pod? That way, Arachne would still wreak havoc on her victims." Victor suggested.

"I don't know, but could it be? Only one way to find out…" Gardevoir considered.

"And that way would be…?"

"That way would be to conduct an investigation on Alphonse and K.U.L.T."

"You two, go on and do the investigation and don't come back until you've found out anything at all." commanded Ninetales.

"Wait a minute. You and Anita aren't coming?" asked Victor.

"No. Methinks it's best to stay here so we can keep watch for any more people coming in. Besides, someone has to look after the babies." Ninetales answered reasonably.

"Very well." said Gardevoir. "Off to the K.U.L.T casino! Come on, Victor, let's go."


	2. The Investigators' Work

The Business of Misery

Chapter 2: The Investigators' Work

After Victor gave Anita a kiss on the lips, their children kisses on the cheek, and both he and Gardevoir hugged Ninetales a careful hug, they took off with their cellphones, a mini-video camera/scouter, and a voice recorder. As soon as they entered the K.U.L.T casino, they climbed up the stairs leading to the door where the casino ended and an evil lair began. Their idea of investigating was to record anything that proved their suspicions and as for the video camera scouter, it served the same purpose. Victor and Gardevoir quietly entered the room and hid quickly, for the boss, her clique, and Alphonse were just entering now.

[Victor, look who it is!] Gardevoir alerted, pointing to Alphonse.

[Is that Alphonse?] Victor asked in confusion.

[I think so, but what's he doing back here? I thought he already got Arachne?] Gardevoir replied, also confused.

[Let's waste no time. Start recording!] Victor pressured. Gardevoir used her psychic powers to activate all the devices they would use simultaneously. Then some dialogue caught their attention.

"Is Professor Professor aware he's killed off only a clone of Arachne?" Millenia asked her 'special minion'.

"Not yet," Alphonse responded. "He just thinks you were bragging your ass off about you leading a team that could squash U.Z.Z to the ground, although K.U.L.T is far superior to U.Z.Z."

"Of course that's so," Millenia reacted in praise. "They know nothing about you working here?"

"They know nothing at all, Millenia," Alphonse replied. "They know nothing at all."

"Fantastic!" Hannibal butted in. He then proceeded to laugh sinisterly, first off quiet, then progressively getting louder.

"You, my boy, are indeed a loyal minion." Millenia said, after laughter ceased, to Alphonse. "A very loyal one at that."

_Oh my God and Arceus!_ Victor thought in shock. _I better tell Anita and Ninetales about this._ He then turned off his cellphone and ran off. Gardevoir, however, decided to stay behind in case she caught something else interesting. She did indeed, when Alphonse left and the entire clique started talking.

"That fool doesn't know what's happened to him." Gardevoir heard Sunako say.

"Since we've injected him with that worm, he's been very obedient and able to complete the required tasks," Millenia explained to her clique besides Sunako.

_What worm? _Gardevoir thought. _Now this is interesting._

After the clique was done talking about this worm, they left, giving Gardevoir the perfect opportunity to sneak into Sunako's lab. Gardevoir teleported into the lab and to her surprise, she found a fishtank full of a dung-brown gel-like substance, which blue creatures that looked like a snake with just a lamprey mouth at the front were burrowing through. In another fishtank, smaller versions of the creatures were swimming around in a translucent blue-green liquid.

_Oh, good lord! _Gardevoir thought in surprise. _What the hell are those things?_

Gardevoir turned off the voice recorder and continued to let the scouter and her cellphone record footage of the blue animals until she felt she had enough. Then she turned both of the remaining active devices off. She wondered if those were the worms Sunako and the clique were talking about and what connection they could possibly have with Alphonse. She teleported back to her godson's house and ran to Ninetales.

"Psst, hey, Ninetales." Gardevoir whispered sharply.

Ninetales woke up immediately but she had a pained expression on her face.

"Sorry about that," Gardevoir apologized.

"Let me guess: You woke me up to tell me what you found?" Ninetales asked.

"Yes. I, well, Victor and I recorded footage back at the K.U.L.T casino," Gardevoir explained. "And you won't believe who's talking in this. He is someone we recognize. Get the hint?"

"Oh no, not my father, Constantine. He's already caused enough trouble for us. We are not dealing with him again!" Ninetales groaned.

"No, not him, but good guess. It's not Red Eye, either." Gardevoir led on.

"So who is it?" Ninetales asked.

"When me and Victor were hiding in the background, we saw Alphonse following behind Millenia and the clique." Gardevoir started.

"So what?" Ninetales interrupted. "It's possible he found out about the clone and was confronting them about it."

"This voice recorder tells another story," Gardevoir continued. "I want you to hear this for yourself."

Gardevoir played back the recording and Ninetales just sat and listened to everything from Millenia asking about the clone all the way to the entourage discussing about the worm. While hearing all this, Ninetales did not budge, not even her face moved.

"We need to talk to Professor Professor and Fart Bucks about this issue," Gardevoir resumed after the recording ended.

"While it is imperative to let the workplace know about anything sketchy going on, there's just one problem." Ninetales stated, just as Victor and Anita were walking in to where Gardevoir and Ninetales were.

"What? What's the problem?" Victor asked.

"Do you really want to know, Victor?" Gardevoir answered with another question, and then came up with feedback that sounded as if she read Ninetales' mind, which she did. "Professor Professor will be very skeptical about this."

"Of course!" Ninetales said, in awareness. "As we all know, Victor doesn't get along with Alphonse and right now, Alphonse is the replacement. They'll think we're just spreading lies about him."

"Besides, Victor," Gardevoir explained. "No one usually listens to you in the first place. And you know how Professor Professor usually twists stories, more specifically yours, around and around to Fart Bucks to a point where it's so unbelievable that it sounds like it's a fantasy story. Therefore, you would probably be suspended or worse, fired. So then, Alphonse's reputation would become even higher than it already is and he would be the model agent and no one would ever know about the affiliation he was in to begin with."

"My God, what a sneaky rat!" Victor exclaimed in amazement.

"Indeed." Gardevoir stated. "He is working in the business of misery, but we won't know until it's too late."

"Get some rest, you guys," Ninetales directed. "Tomorrow will probably be better."

As you can imagine, Ninetales was wrong. The next day came and like usual, everyone was in the briefing room.

"Sunako is helping K.U.L.T unleash more monsters, which is a high breach in security, and as you all know, I take security very seriously," Fart Bucks began. "….which is why my name is Changed Daily. Today, you may call me…." His communicator beeped. "Oh….Wonder Boner."

Everyone laughed for a few moments until the laughter died down. Then they set off to work on their missions.

"I wish you luck!" Professor Professor shouted out as everyone took off.

The rest of the day was just as bad as the previous, with Alphonse doing twice the work as Victor, Anita, Gardevoir and Ninetales combined. However, he was unaware that Gardevoir was doing detective work on him. After work wrapped up, Victor and Gardevoir waited until sunset to go back to the K.U.L.T casino. Anita wanted to help them, but remembered she needed to be with the kids. Ninetales couldn't make it, either, due to the fact that she was on a date with her boyfriend, Brian Griffin. Victor and Gardevoir went up to a casino worker while inside.

"Excuse me. Do you know where Millenia and her friends are?" Gardevoir asked the employee.

"They're at a club, ma'am, pissing the night away," the worker answered. "Do you want a word with them about something?"

"No, no," Gardevoir insisted. "We're just curious."

"All righty, then."

Gardevoir climbed up the seemingly-suspended-in-thin-air 18th century-era stairs with Victor following her close behind. Surprisingly, the member of staff never bothered to look at the casino visitors again. Once up the stairs, they opened the door leading to the evil lair and looked around.

_I don't see anything out of the ordinary._ Gardevoir thought to herself. _I guess the worker's right._

Suddenly, Gardevoir saw a black metallic wooden door that she apparently had overlooked before. The door had a sign reading "Arachne's Private Space: Forbidden". Victor and Gardevoir decided to take the chance and enter anyway. When they did, it was dark, pitch-black at the least. The duo didn't hear anything except some rattling, like handcuffs attached to metal bars, and muffled sounds, like a person who had a gag ball over his mouth.

"Victor, feel around for a Pokéball," Gardevoir ruled out. Victor did so. He then threw the Pokéball down to the floor and out came a Lucario.

"All right, Lucario. Use your Aura attack!" Victor shouted. Lucario did just that and detected a man with blue hair in a metal bar cage, wearing a blindfold and skimpy leather underwear, and was handcuffed and shackled to the interior. Gardevoir's eyes widened and her pupils dilated and she shook Victor as a signal to see what she was looking at. Victor's eyes also widened, his pupils dilated as well and he gasped.

"Ray?" Victor and Gardevoir asked aloud out in shock.


	3. Hell Comes To UZZ

The Business of Misery

Chapter 3: Hell Comes to U.Z.Z.

Gardevoir shook her head in disbelief, her mouth agape in shock. She couldn't believe what her eyes were gazing at. She tried to come up with thousands of excuses in her head, but none were fitting to the kind of situation Ray was in.

_Oh my Lord!_ Gardevoir thought. _I must save the prisoner._

"Victor, tell your Lucario to use his wrist spikes to break off the cuffs and shackles and then to break the cage." Gardevoir told her godson imperatively.

"Will do, Gardevoir. Lucario, use your wrist spikes!" Victor yelled out.

Lucario did as he was told and faster than a Pikachu could cry out its name while using Thunderbolt, the chains and shackles were cut and the cage was destroyed.

"Now to get the gag ball out of his mouth…." Gardevoir wondered. In a few moments, she went behind Ray and untied the attachment strings of the gag ball.

"Thank you." Ray appreciated.

"You're welcome." Gardevoir responded.

"Now…where are Millenia, her posse, Arachne, and Alphonse? Where are they? I'll kill them! I'll fuckin' kill them!" Ray asked out aggressively.

"Well," Gardevoir started to speak. "Millenia and her entourage are pissing the night away at a club, we don't know where Arachne is right now (I'm assuming she's killing a few people in the city as we speak), and as for Alphonse, he is working in the main pod at U.Z.Z."

"Hold on, why is Alphonse back at U.Z.Z?" Ray asked once again.

"Didn't you send a letter about going on holiday and being indecisive about whether or not you would be leaving, _and_ that you specifically wrote down that you personally hand-chose Alphonse to take your place while you were gone?" Victor answered with another question.

"There are three flaws with your theory, Victor," Ray started to explain. "One, I never wrote that letter or sent it. Two, I wouldn't choose Alphonse to take my place, not even in a million years. And three, how could I write the letter when I'm _blind?_"

"Ah…of course!" Gardevoir realized. "Victor's never tried to get along with Alphonse so there would be issues working together up the ass." Then she realized something else. "Ray, did you notice everything Alphonse did in the past?"

"Yes." Ray replied.

"Did you also know about Alphonse being Millenia's special minion and about the worms in Sunako's lab?" Gardevoir interrogated.

"Alphonse being Millenia's special minion?" Ray repeated. "That I know about. Let me explain."

"Explain away, Ray." Gardevoir encouraged.

"I walked into the K.U.L.T casino about four evenings ago, scouring for my sunglasses, because earlier that day, I dropped them somewhere in the casino. Whilst doing that, Arachne came up to me. I merely thought she was just a guide and asked her where my sunglasses could possibly be. She said she knew and retracted to the lair up the stairs. As soon as she came back, Alphonse was right behind her, she was holding a box cutter utility knife in her hand, and Alphonse was holding some sort of vodka in his hands.

"I thought she misunderstood so I told her the knife wasn't mine and I didn't know why I'd use that. Before I could finish, though, she slashed my shoulders, the upper part of my torso, and the upper parts of my arms. I asked her what the hell she was doing while I was also screaming in pain and that's when Alphonse took the cap off of the vodka and said, 'Here's some magic restorative water.' I consented and took a drink, but that was a big mistake, because not only did it drug me, it also temporarily blinded me."

"Oh, dear," Gardevoir responded after the story was wrapped up. "That's….terrible that they would do this to you. Are you sure Alphonse didn't do anything else?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure," Ray returned.

"In that case, Wonder Boner must be warned," Victor said outright.

"Wonder Boner?" Ray asked, before laughing hysterically.

"Yes, it's his name of the day until tomorrow." Gardevoir responded, also laughing out loud.

"We better get moving before Millenia comes back," Victor alerted his godmother and best friend.

"Yes, of course," Gardevoir concurred as she sensed a presence that was coming rather slowly.

So the three of them ran out of the casino as fast as they possibly could, before eventually tiring themselves out. Gardevoir decided to use her Teleport attack to transfer herself and her two favorite son-figures back to the house she and her husband Gengar and his other wife Mismagius shared with Professor Professor, Doctor Doctor, and their own twins, Dustin and Namine.

"Why don't you come inside and relax for a minute?" Gardevoir requested.

"Thank you for the offer, Gardevoir," Victor replied gratefully.

Meanwhile, back at his house, his wife Anita and their mutual friend Ninetales were preparing to get Emerson and Vinita ready for bed. Ninetales had nudged a book called "Llama Llama Misses Mama" off of a shelf with her nose and pleaded with her eyes to read the book to the children before they drifted off to sleep. As if by random, there was a tap at the nursery window, and then another, and then another, until two Sneasel broke through and started to punch the females, who were caught off-guard. One Sneasel kicked Anita in the ribs, while the other coldcocked Ninetales. Ninetales tried to lunge at the agile Pokémon, but she found herself getting a head stomp that was so great, she was knocked unconscious. It wasn't until a few moments later that Hannibal came in through the same busted window and started to chase after Anita, distracting her in the process while the two Sneasel snatched the infants from their cribs and took off, leaving the same way they entered. Anita used her martial arts to do her best to defend herself from the intimidating Zoroark, but it was no use, even though Hannibal was sustaining injuries. In spite of a few fresh cuts and bruises, Hannibal was still able to punch Anita in the abdomen and run off, carrying her over his shoulder. Back with Gardevoir, she suddenly had a throbbing migraine.

"Gardevoir, are you OK?" Ray concernedly asked his friend's godmother.

"No," she replied. "Something's wrong. I know it."

Gardevoir ran out of her house towards her godson's house and was soon being followed. When she arrived, Gardevoir was shocked to find blood on the floor, but what really caught her attention was seeing her friend Ninetales out cold in the nursery with forming bruises on her face.

"Ninetales, what happened?" Gardevoir asked, still in shock, when Ninetales started coming to.

"I don't exactly know myself, but I think…Anita, Emerson, and Vinita were kidnapped." Ninetales replied in a terrified manner.


	4. Her Worst Nightmare

The Business of Misery

Chapter 4: Her Worst Nightmare

**Author's Note: You must be at least 18 or older to read even one sentence of this chapter. If you are underage, please leave. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy.**

Anita woke up a few hours later to find herself stripped down in nothing but a black Latex bra and naked as a jaybird from the waist down. She was bound to a stainless steel chair by titanium chains encircling her breasts, arms, wrists, and ankles and was so tightly restrained to the chair that there was little space to move about. She could see, even from the periphery view of her sight, that she was in a room that looked much like an S&M dungeon and noticed that Millenia was walking towards her in a straight path, with Alphonse following closely behind. Hannibal, Sunako, and Lucas, were behind the steel chair, waiting for something to happen. Finally, Millenia got close enough that she leaned her face right towards her hostage's.

"It's nice to see you again, Anita Knight, or should I say Anita Volt?" Millenia said with a sinister smile plastered across her face.

"What's going on here? What are you going to do to me?" Anita asked, half-bravely, half-irate.

"Oh, nothing, you worthless naughty kitten. All I'm going to do is let my worm-controlled slave fuck you and fuck you hard," Millenia replied harshly, still smiling.

_Worm-controlled?_ Anita questioningly thought before Alphonse thrusted his body into hers a moment later.

Anita closed her eyes and gasped shakily, as she felt something as thick as a sausage link penetrate her vagina. There was no doubt in her mind the heavy Italian man was raping her. Anita struggled in vain to get him off her, but then remembered how constricting the chains close to her body were. The raping seemed to last for an eternity until Anita started screaming at the top of her lungs as Alphonse was starting to climax and unload his semen all over the inside of her pussy. It seemed to be of no use, however. Everyone else was doubled over in hysterical laughter.

Out of the blue, one of the chains tightly wound at her ankles broke loose and that was when Anita hatched up a plan.

"Hey, Hannibal?" Anita called out. "Come here."

"Eh?" Hannibal sounded. "Alphonse, move over."

Alphonse did as he was told and Hannibal walked over to Anita.

"There's a stain on the floor right over there," Anita pointed with her right foot to a place strangely near the said foot.

Hannibal, without suspecting anything, put his nose close to the ground and sniffed for any odor that was telltale of a stain. He was so into finding the stain he didn't notice a foot kicking him in the face so hard that blood was coming out of his nostrils.

"Hannibal?" Lucas noticed the nosebleed right away and was shaking like he was having hypothermia.

"What? I'm busy!" Hannibal snapped before looking at the blood dripping on the floor from his nose. "Aah! I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding! Hell no!"

Sunako noticed the blood as well and had a panic episode, for she could not stand other people's blood. She screamed as she was panicking and didn't see that she had drawn blood from Alphonse, who was starting to lose so much that eventually he would faint for a few minutes.

Anita took this moment of chaos as a chance to finally escape this dungeon. While she was running, the remaining chains slipped off and the chair fell with a thud. She still had to rescue her children. If only she knew where they were being kept. She stopped dead in her tracks to see Victor and their friends Gardevoir, Ray, and Ninetales.

"Oh, you guys, you shouldn't have." Anita chirped with joy, seeing her friends and husband again. "How did you find me?"

"Gardevoir sensed you were here, so we followed her and here we are," Ray explained. "Of course, you probably already knew that."

"I need to get the kids still," Anita told Victor. "I'll be back."

Anita disappeared for four minutes and then came back with Emerson and Vinita in her arms with Arachne chasing her.

"Let's go! Millenia is going to notice I've disappeared any moment now," Anita demanded.

Anita, with her little boy and girl in hand, ran like she had a propeller in her ass and led the way, while her husband, their family friends Ray, Gardevoir, and Ninetales, ran along and followed her from behind. Arachne was still chasing them, but Millenia, Hannibal, Sunako, Lucas, and Alphonse now accompanied her. Ray started shooting like a demented pigeon with a rifle.

"Ray, what are you doing?" Victor asked. "I thought you were blind!"

"I am, Victor." Ray replied. "I'm trying to shoot Alphonse. It'll be payback for the hell I've gone through."

Ray missed his target a few times and unintentionally hit Lucas and Hannibal right in their faces. Arachne, seeing her comrades being shot in the face with rays, grew more and more pissed until she got to a point of being in complete rage and ran as fast as her spider legs could carry her. She singled out Victor and shot silk from her glands onto her prey.

"Help! I've been silked!" Victor screamed.

"Victor!" Anita gasped.

She and her friends turned around to follow Arachne, who was now heading for an old abandoned building, dragging Victor on the ground with her. Unfortunately, Millenia and her associates also decided to follow Arachne just so they could watch what would happen. Arachne stopped at the front of the building, broke off the web she caught Victor in, and climbed to the top of the structure with her legs.

"I need to use your phone, Ray." Gardevoir demanded.

Gardevoir grabbed Ray's cell phone because she knew Ray was blind and wouldn't be able to do as he was told. She dialed her Trainer's number and immediately got a response.

"Gardevoir, what is going on?" Wonder Boner asked his Pokémon.

"Daddy, we have a situation. Send all of the U.Z.Z agents down where I am." Gardevoir returned.

Millenia motioned something to Sunako and caught an orb as big as a used Pokéball but it was in rusty colors. It had a big red button on the top and a timer on one of its sides.

"And please hurry!" Gardevoir continued. "Apparently, we have a bombing in progress."

"All right." Wonder Boner said. "I'll send all of the U.Z.Z agents down where you are."

"Thank you so much!" Gardevoir said gratefully.

Gardevoir hung up and saw that Millenia had tossed the bomb up to Arachne. Arachne pushed the button on the bomb and activated it. The bomb was going to go off in three minutes.

Before thirty seconds faded by, all of the available U.Z.Z. agents, including Kowalski, Kent B. Trusted, and a half-Nepalese girl with shiny jet-black hair and chocolate milk brown eyes named Shiva, were at the front of the building, staring wide-eyed at what they were seeing. Victor was lying helplessly on the ground, tightly wrapped in spider silk, staring straight ahead at Arachne, who was now contacting the K.U.L.T workers back at the casino.

_Why me? _Victor thought to himself. _Why me?_

The K.U.L.T employees arrived on the scene almost as quickly as the U.Z.Z agents did.

"Ray? Are you back from holiday already?" one of the U.Z.Z. agents asked. "I didn't even think you were going to come back."

"I was never on holiday," Ray started to explain. "K.U.L.T held me hostage for four days and used me as a sex slave. And about that letter, I didn't even write it. I'm going to assume either Alphonse or Arachne forged my handwriting and sent it."

"Really?" the U.Z.Z. agent asked again, baffled. "I never would've guessed someone else wrote the letter."

Shiva ran over to punch Alphonse, but flubbed and tackled him instead. Thus, the fight began.

In fact, there was nothing but fighting for the rest of the time the bomb was counting down. There was punching, screaming, slapping, kicking, headbutting, biting and there were also gun shootings. One instance, Alphonse was trying to shoot Victor in the head, but instead missed and shot Shiva in the chest. Shiva doubled over in an extraordinary amount of pain and started coughing up blood, but the fray still went on. Gardevoir was even joining in on the melee, using her attacks as self-defense. By the time the fight was over, most of the K.U.L.T workers had been felled, technically meaning that victory belonged to U.Z.Z. Everyone suddenly gasped, as they had forgotten the bomb entirely. The bomb was counting down to its last seconds.

"Oh, shit! Oh, shit!" Gardevoir yelled. She ran as fast as she could and jumped on top of Victor in an effort to shield him.

"Someone should defuse the bomb!" an U.Z.Z. agent shouted out. "Someone do something!"

Everyone was in a panic because they were foolish enough to forget about the bomb and none of them had the balls to defuse it in such a short amount of time. The timer went all the way down to zero and the moment they were all dreading for came.

"Too late, fools," Millenia said just before the bomb exploded and rubble scattered everywhere.

Millenia and her entourage made their escape and the K.U.L.T workers, including Arachne, retreated. Only Alphonse stayed behind. Soon, the U.Z.Z. agents walked over to the pile of rubble that was covering two bodies, one human and one Gardevoir. They were in disbelief.

"No. No!" Kent cried.

"What's happening?" Anita asked Kowalski.

"I'm sorry, Anita, but I'm afraid we're going to have to assume the worst." Kowalski answered, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Did I miss two people dying?" Shiva asked weakly, still coughing up blood.

"Yeah, you did." Kent returned. "Don't worry, doll. We'll have you fixed up in no time flat."

"There's no hope for her, is there?" Ninetales asked Kent, referring to Shiva.

"Not really." Kent retorted negatively.

Anita kneeled toward the big pile of debris, still holding her children, and started to cry. She was too young to be a widow. Her children were too young to lose their father. Mildred would die from a broken heart upon hearing the news of her son's death. Louis would go into a deep depression knowing he was practically an orphan now. Gengar would be heartbroken hearing his other wife had died a violent death and it would keep on going.

Then, she noticed a hand come out from under the rubble. Could it be…? It was.

"Victor!" Anita and Ninetales shouted in glee. "You're okay!"

"Yes," Victor laughed in ecstasy. "Gardevoir saved my life."

"But Gardevoir didn't save herself." Ninetales told him glumly.

"You mean…?" Victor started to ask, and then he, too, started to cry.

"I think we should say a few things to Gardevoir to make sure she's properly on her way." Shiva suggested, still coughing up blood.

The U.Z.Z. agents moved the rubble off of the inanimate body of the Gardevoir and placed her body in her grieving godson's arms.

"Gardevoir," Victor began. "I want you to know that we love you and we always will. I know you'll be with us, even if you're invisible, and I know you did your best as a mother, godmother, friend, guardian, etc. I realize that we may have taken you for granted at times and I realize that sometimes we underestimated you, but I know you'd forgive us. I love you so much, Gardevoir."

Victor kissed Gardevoir on the lips and was going to ask Anita to speak next, when something amazing happened.

"I love…you…t-t-too, Victor," a voice answered in response to Victor's emotional speech. The voice came from Gardevoir, who was blushing and just now opening her eyes.

"It's a miracle!" Victor yelled out in shock and joy. "I brought you back to life!"

"In a way, it is a miracle that we survived at all, yes," Gardevoir answered, still blushing. "Thanks so much, Victor. You've said nothing but good things about me."

"I wouldn't have said them if I didn't mean them," Victor said. "And you're welcome."

Shiva, in Kent's arms, finally died after hacking up so much blood from her lungs.

"She's dead…" Kent said distantly.

He then glared at Alphonse.

"And you killed her!"

"Dammit! I didn't mean to kill Shiva. I meant to kill Victor." Alphonse admitted.

Alphonse, upon confessing to what he had done, was immediately handcuffed and was forced to sit at the back of an U.Z.Z. agent's skybike. Shiva's lifeless body was placed on the back of another skybike and Gardevoir, realizing that she couldn't move her legs, and Ray, being blind, had to be carried all the way back to U.Z.Z. on yet another skybike. Hell wasn't over yet. There was still more to come.


	5. It's All Over Before You Know It

The Business of Misery

Chapter 5: It's All Over Before You Know It

**Author's Note: For those of you who can't read Italian, here's what the following mean.**

**"Non è vero! E 'una stronzata! Lui non l'ha fatto! Lui non ha fatto!" = "It's not true! It's bullshit! He didn't do it! He did not!"**

**"Taci!" = "Be quiet!"**

**"Come puoi dire che circa Lyndsay!" = "How dare you say that about Lyndsay!"**

**Just thought I'd explain before anyone gets confused. Also you are going to be in for quite a ride, because you'll never believe who's responsible for Alphonse's manipulation, Anita's raping, et al. Again, please enjoy.**

In the briefing room, Wonder Boner, his newly-paraplegic Gardevoir (who was in a wheelchair Professor Professor had made for her so she could move it with her powers), and his Ninetales were glaring at the disgraced Alphonse, who was still in handcuffs and sitting in one of the chairs. Anita and Victor were sitting in the other chairs while Professor Professor stood beside the wheelchair-bound Gardevoir. Also in the room, sitting in some extra chairs, was a woman who had the same skin and hair as Alphonse but she had a different build and she looked slightly older (this was his mother Corona) and another woman, with the same features, but she looked as though she could've been a young girl and had hazel eyes with Japanese facial features (this was his kid sister Sakura). Both of the ladies were wearing Anne Klein business suits and looked a little nervous being in the room. The only other people in the room sitting on the remaining extra chairs were Mildred Volt (who was a retired U.Z.Z agent), Doctor Doctor (holding her and Professor Professor's kids), Gardevoir's Gallade son Louis, her husband Gengar, and his sister wife Mismagius.

"Oh, boy. Where do I begin with you, Alphonse?" Wonder Boner started to speak. "I am shocked to hear that you purposely tried to kill one of your own co-workers but accidentally killed one of our best junior U.Z.Z agents in the process. It's one thing to attempt to murder one of your peers, but you just involuntarily shot a young girl in the chest and with a shotgun. You are aware firearms use in the city here in the UK is illegal, right?"

"This is outrageous!" Sakura started shouting. "He didn't do it! Non è vero! E 'una stronzata! Lui non l'ha fatto! Lui non ha fatto!"

"Sakura, no. Taci!" Alphonse demanded.

"Order! Order! Both of you are speaking out of turn! Let me finish!" Wonder Boner resumed speaking. "What makes the situation even worse, Alphonse, is that you also raped a female co-worker and Gardevoir told me a while ago that she and Victor have proof that you are a double agent, which is what we despise."

Sakura couldn't believe what she was hearing and started fuming.

"I have a theory how Alphonse got mixed up in the conspiracy to wipe Victor off the face of the earth so he and Anita would live happily ever after," Gardevoir started to say.

"I'd be very interested to hear it, Gardevoir," Doctor Doctor quipped.

"Understand it all starts sometime after Emerson and Vinita were born," Gardevoir elaborated. "One night, while Alphonse and his new girlfriend Lyndsay were sleeping together, Sakura hatched up a plan to get her half-brother and his ex-girlfriend back together. First, she enlisted the help of Millenia on how they were going to kidnap Alphonse. They decided that the next night, Millenia would go on, get her entourage, enter his house, throw a bag over his head, and take him back to the K.U.L.T casino. There, Sunako put Alphonse under anethesia and injected him with the mind control worm she was raising in her lab. It explains why Alphonse hadn't been acting like himself lately and it shows how willing Sakura is to get what she wants, even if it means killing someone to get it."

Alphonse let out a gasp and looked at his little sister in shock.

"Sakura, how could you?" Alphonse started to blubber.

"You and Anita looked so happy together, so when Anita broke up with you, naturally, I was heartbroken. I don't mind Lyndsay, but she is an ugly prostitute of a girlfriend compared to Anita." Sakura answered.

"Sakura! Come puoi dire che circa Lyndsay!" Corona scolded her daughter.

"That thieving bastard ruined everything! Victor deserved to die!" screamed Sakura as she let her temper get the better of her.

Victor gasped after hearing what Sakura had said about him. He, too, started to fume. Gardevoir was starting to worry that Victor would lash out and punch the half-Italian, half-Japanese girl in the face.

"Wait, Victor. Let's not do anything rash," Gardevoir warned her godson as he was getting ready to do just that. "Let's not do anything that can get you fired."

Victor knew she was right: punching Sakura would probably get him fired from U.Z.Z . and land him in trouble again.

"Did you see what he was trying to do?" Sakura asked Ray.

"No. How could I, anyway? I'm blind." Ray answered.

"You saw he was going to punch me, right?" Sakura asked Wonder Boner.

"Really? I didn't see anything." Wonder Boner replied, feigning ignorance.

"Grrr." Sakura groaned in frustration.

"Well, Daddy, should we hand Alphonse over to Old Bailey's custody?" asked Gardevoir.

"I believe so," her Trainer answered. "After all, the judges there will be the ones to decide what will ultimately happen to Alphonse. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until the spring season for Alphonse to go on trial."

"We'll have to put him in a holding cell, for the time being." Ray added.

A few hours later, Victor confronted Sakura outside of the base and was planning to arrest her on the spot.

"Sakura, I'm glad to say that after giving me hell for two days, you will be getting what you deserve." Victor told her.

"No, Victor," Sakura contradicted. "I may have tried to have you assassinated for the womanizing thief you are, yes, but I think I shall give _you _your just desserts."

"Is that a challenge?" Victor taunted. "'Cause I'll really enjoy kicking your ass."

"Bring it on, son of a bitch." Sakura taunted back. "Time for me to finish what I started anyway."

Sakura threw the first punch and it hit Victor in the mouth. Victor spit out one of his teeth and some blood. He threw himself onto Sakura and tried pinning her down, but Sakura overpowered him and did a half-nelson. He broke free and headbutted her face. Sakura persisted despite the shock of the injury. She clawed Victor's face and headbutted his nose. Victor ignored the nosebleed and kicked Sakura so hard in the stomach it knocked her back 5 feet. Sakura got up and ran as fast as she could and attempted a tackle, but Victor somehow managed to evade it and Sakura fell face-first into the ground. Victor grabbed her feet and started swinging her around and around. Sakura started feeling nauseous.

"Help! I'm getting dizzy!" Sakura screamed, before Victor released her and she once again fell flat on her face into the ground.

"Sakura Scorpio, you are under arrest, courtesy of U.Z.Z." Victor told his captive and then carried her like he was a fireman.

"Put me down!" Sakura started to scream like a little girl throwing a tantrum. "No! No! Let me go! Aah!"

Sakura would not be getting her way that time nor any other time from then on. Victor couldn't help but wonder why Sakura would go through all that trouble just so her brother would be happy. Now that he thought about it, he did have a dislike for Alphonse, but he hated Sakura even more. He decided he would let the pain and agony of the last couple of days pass. Never again would he talk about them.


	6. Epilogue

The Business of Misery

Epilogue

"Merry Christmas, Anita!" Seven-going-on-eight-year-old Portia greeted her oldest sister at the front door of her house with a smile.

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Portia." Anita responded. "Where are Mum and Dad?"

"They're coming, Ani. Just be patient," said Portia. "They'll be here in a minute."

"You hear that, Emery?" Victor asked his young son. "Grandma and Grandpa will be here any second."

Emerson only babbled a bit and gazed at his twin sister Vinita, who shrugged slightly. Gardevoir looked out the window in her wheelchair and watched the snow as it put on a show and changed forms and glittered around. Ninetales was lying beneath the Christmas tree, trying to resist opening the wrapped presents while Louis sat criss-cross, trying to clear his mind.

"I don't see any sign of them," Gardevoir announced, turning her bandaged head toward her godson's little family. Her concussion from the rubble falling on her still complicated things for her, but at least she could still observe, use her psychic powers, and remember pretty well.

A few minutes later, Viva and Curtis Knight arrived at the door. They brought large shopping bags and wrapped boxes with them and set the items down on the floor.

"Hello, Ani! Merry Christmas!" Viva greeted her daughter. She hugged her as carefully as she could, so as not to accidentally leak out any breast milk.

"Mum, I'm so glad you're here!" Anita said. "Emerson and Vinita are here to see you."

"They are? Let me see them." the matriarch said, walking over to the couch to sit down with her son-in-law. She gazed down at her two small grandchildren.

"Hello, sweeties," Viva said to Emerson and Vinita with a genuine smile. "Grandpa and I got you some presents that we think you might like."

Curtis removed a few things from the bags to reveal a talking stuffed Pichu plushie for Emerson, a princess outfit for Vinita, and some other toys. He gave the Pichu plushie to his grandson and the princess outfit to his granddaughter, and then he put the toys in their nursery.

"Gardevoir, I got you something special." said Viva as she took out something from one of her coat pockets. "You want to see it?"

"Yes, I'd love to." Gardevoir answered, feeling a mix of anxiety and gleeful anticipation.

Gardevoir used her telekinesis to move the wheels of her chair over to where Viva was sitting, swerving Ninetales on the ground. She was given her present and she saw it was an alarm clock that was made of glass as thin as paper and had very complicated circuit wiring.

"I love it, Viva." Gardevoir said, blushing slightly as she looked at her alarm clock.

"That _is_ lovely, Mother," Louis commented as politely as he could. He could see how happy his mother was with the alarm clock.

Time passed as everyone opened their presents, ate dinner, and sat around the TV to watch "It's a Wonderful Life". Anita motioned to Gardevoir that she wanted to talk with her about something, alone. Gardevoir got the hint and followed her in her wheelchair into the master bedroom, where Anita sat on the king-sized bed.

"Gardevoir, do you have any idea how long Alphonse and Sakura will be in prison if Old Bailey finds them guilty?" Anita asked Gardevoir out of curiosity.

"Well, if I can still recall, from the numerous charges Alphonse has against him, such as rape, attempted and accidental murder in the first degree, involvement in a conspiracy, obstructing justice, et al., I can guess he will probably be looking at life in prison. On the other hand, since Sakura conspired to have Victor killed in the first place, she will, without a doubt, be sentenced to death." Gardevoir answered, using her best judgment.

"Don't be so sure, Gardevoir," Anita warned. "Remember, you only provided a _theory_ of what Sakura had to do with everything. Suppose Sakura is acquitted due to lack of evidence. If that were to happen, then justice would not be pursued completely."

Gardevoir had forgotten about that possibility while discussing her theory back at the briefing room some days ago. She sighed quietly and used her telekinesis to move her wheelchair back to the living room where everyone else was.

"Victor, Louis and I need to leave in a few minutes so we can go back to our house to celebrate Christmas with the rest of our family." Gardevoir told her godson, referring to Gengar, Mismagius, Professor Professor, Doctor Doctor, and their twins Dustin and Namine as her family.

Louis got up, knowing what he was supposed to do, and followed his mother out the front door after saying goodbye to everyone. Victor watched his godbrother and paraplegic, wheelchair-bound godmother depart into the translucent fog of snow and ice crystals. He then turned to his wife and gave her a passionate peck on the cheek.

"I'm so glad we were meant to be, Victor," Anita told her childhood friend-turned-husband. "Even though you act like a wise-cracking jackass sometimes, you are still a great example of a man."

"I'm so glad, too, Anita," responded Victor, ignoring the remark about him being a wise-cracking jackass. "And that's why I'll always love you."

That Christmas for them was the best Christmas ever, in spite of a hell-bent woman manipulating her brother to try and ruin everything for them a few days prior. There would be no more businesses of misery for now and possibly no more businesses of misery ever, and U.Z.Z would make positively sure of that.

**Author's Note (do not read this until December comes): Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays! If I get enough good reviews, I might write a prequel to this fanfic. **


End file.
